Sometimes I like to rewind to a couple years ago, and think about me then and me now. It always trips me out. I look at this picture now, and I forget that 6 years ago (This makes me feel old), this was almost a dream-like, unobtainable desire.
Well, it’s been almost 2 years, and at times I feel like it’s only been 2 months and other times I feel like it’s been 5 years. This past couple of years have really been a whirlwind–consisting of mostly amazing times though some admittedly turbulent. There are no words, or pictures, or particular memories that can sum it all up for me. There are only feelings and thoughts that are sufficient enough for me.
I don’t even know how I’ve managed to survive doing everything I do. From being a college student, to working 2 jobs, to interning for great company, to working hours and hours, to staying up all night, to forgetting what happened the night before…
Within these years, I’ve done things that I thought I would never be able to do. I’ve taken chances I never thought I’d take, I pushed myself to the edge, I’ve felt extremely happy, sad, angry, stressed and every other emotion you could think a 22-year-old girl could have. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve never felt more alive.
We’re at that change where things are constantly in a state of influx, and it could either be very scary, or very exciting. Or a little bit of both or somewhere in between. I think amidst the academic prestige at Berkeley, the piece of advice that has resonated the most with me was to this embrace change and uncertainty during our 20s. There’s nothing more boring than having your entire life planned out in front of you.
I’ve learned that there is no equivalent to hard work. I’ve learned that some people are meant to succeed, while others are not. I’ve learned that sometimes, people don’t know what they’re talking about. I now know that the idea that the older people get, the more mature they become is completely false; there are “adults” who will forever remain adolescent. I know that sometimes there is no right or wrong answer–there is no black and white. I’ve learned a lot, but I still feel like there’s tons out there to learn. My thirst for knowledge is unquenchable.
I like looking back and seeing where I was then, and looking at the present, and imagining me in the future.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.